Tough Day to be MOM

Hello Again Isabelle,

I need you today….

The kids father is at it again, with his threats and everything.  He reminded me today I get nothing if he dies or if I leave.  Which is why all my money is going toward my benefit and whatever I need to take care of the kids long term.  I am so tired of the threats and yelling but there is nothing I can do so why bother.  It is obvious things will never work and he does not want to try so why should I at this point.

I wanted to start classes and maybe work towards a career in fitness but instead I will need to save my money for the inevitable.

He is such a horrible man and husband who blames everyone for his own issues.  But this is the choice I made to live  here with this situation.

I will keep trying and looking, but it is only a matter of time until he tries to get rid of me. 

My older son is starting to look for his own place and move out, which I understand needs to happen but I worry.

My baby girl is progressing thanks to the work I do with her everyday, and she will continue to be watched by the therapists and everyone for a number of years.

My little boy at 4 years old is turning around, we spend more time together and I hope he always knows how much I love him.

I am at a loss because I put myself in this situation and I am not sure of how to get out of it and how to be stronger so I can not be dependent on this horrible man.  I can only image this is how my mother has felt most her life.   I never wanted to be like my  mother yet here I am.  Maybe this is just part of being a mom..  A mother is strong for her kids no matter what the situation right?

Everything I thought I knew is gone and I am at a loss today knowing I created this problem this life without a net to catch me and the kids. 

Send me the answer and please help me be strong for them.

NEW LIFE Chapter One

Well I am done, I think moving forward and starting a new life journey is best.

SO......

Hello World!

I have started on my new life journey after the last four months of heart ache and doctors appoints for my Daughter. 

First my daughter is doing well, she is four months old and we are moving things right along.   I see the neurologist every two months, the child development specialist two to three times per month, and a physical therapist once a month with regular visits from the neonatal team.  WE have a lot of people supporting her in her life, and so far so good.

My life is changing I working out daily 5:00am to 7:00am.  Then doing research finishing my environmental policy degree program with only ten credits left.  I have decided to work towards opening my own fitness studio.   I am looking at Yoga and Pilates certification classes, and also specialty fields or versions of yoga or Pilates like Barre, Barre Method, Beyond Pilates, different Yoga like, vinyassa, brikam yoga, or Max Performance Yoga for kids. 

It has been an interesting journey so far and it looks like I found Yoga and Pilate’s certification class in one.

My research so far has found the following:

Yoga or Pilates certifications or 200 plus hours courses.  Most Studios offer a weekend warrior class that spans over one year to complete.  The classes need to be affiliated with Yoga Alliance and Balanced Body.  The cost of these classes is not joke, and all together for Yoga RYT 200 and Pilates training around $5000. Total.    Then you have specialty classes that can be $250 to $600 per classes for additional training for certifications in Barre or TRX. 

There are a ton of variations of Pilates and some Yoga out there.  Barre being the biggest hybrid of the two mixed with ballet. 

The Bar Method and Pilates Pro Works are two of the many franchises out there like Pure Barre, Booty Barre, Cardio Barre, and many more.  Smaller establishments will have a private owner and only provide the basic Yoga or Pilate’s classes.  Then some small studios will have teachers come in and teach different classes monthly.  This will allow for diversity in the classes they offer.

If you want to learn how to teach some of the specialty brand classes all of them accept Booty Barre, require you open a franchise.  They are very closed off on sharing their technics with just anyone.  You can take the classes, but actually being taught the mythology behind the class is for the franchise owners and their instructors.   Booty Barre welcomes the idea of teaching people their method for around $600 per class.   It seems most larger names are only interested in selling the franchise or branding to people.  However if you open a Pure Barre or Bar Method franchise then that is the only type of class you can offer, limiting your client base and the area you can operate since these are more expensive classes and gym like environments.

I will be working on certifications for the Yoga and Pilates as I mentioned and will take as many other classes’ in-between my school time to learn about different techniques.  I am favoring the idea of paying to take the Booty Barre teacher training class over the others because this type of training and knowledge should be shared.  I am discouraged by franchises not allowing their teachers to train more people and spreading the wisdom of their class.  It just doesn’t seem right, and does seem like a lot of corporate BS to me. 

I will keep sending up dates over the next year to document my journey and weight loss.  SO far I lost ten pounds.  That is down form 190, so I am probably around 180 now.  Gosh I need a scale.  HA!