What goes up must come down.

Well what goes up must come down.  The hope is gone.... No Stanford for me. 

Seems I am destine to never work again.  At this point I have been looking for full time work for two years with no success.  The last time I was gainfully employed was May of 2013, and we all know that ended badly.

I had my last interview with Stanford and the VP of the department basically said I was pretty and dumb.  Or whatever she meant by “well at least your charismatic”.  She was an old-school broker type mentality that had the ego and institutional capitalism stench all over her.  Not that there is anything bad about that, I don’t know her but I know her “type” doesn’t like me.  They can see I am highly capable and charismatic, with the knowledge and ability to go out and do whatever it takes.  That’s what consultants and entrepreneur do, we take life by the balls and squeeze out the juice.  LOL!  But her ego, insecurities, need to be the center of attention and one way of thinking that old-school bully the admin, say whatever you want while you run people over broker attitude actually works.  I guess it works at Stanford LBRE, because she is that person.    The only thing those “types” need to worry about from me is the fact I don’t care about them, the way they yell and throw tantrums, or their egos.  Which isn’t good for them.

She said she didn’t get my resume and couldn’t understand why someone would be a contractor like that?  She seemed annoyed and puzzled.  She did mention the other candidate was the opposite and seemed more inline with what she wanted but she didn’t make the final decision.  Great!  So whatever, same story different day, I am qualified but do not have long term corporate experience with an institution for 10 years or more so they wont hire me.  I cannot get the experience I need for those jobs and cannot get those jobs.  I am getting older and want the stability of a long-term gig especially now that I finished two degrees. BUT…. Here we go round and round with the same issue.  Whatever, I am done.

My daughter at 18months will hopefully start a preschool program soon.  I don’t make any money so I qualify for the city head start program.  WOOHOO! government assistance here I come.  This will at least help me have a moment without a child on my lap, watching me pee or get dressed, and pulling at me verbally and physically nonstop 24/7.  I can really go home and do nothing then.  I will be able to live up to my reputation that “The man I live with” thinks of me.  I can do nothing even more often.  Hooray!

I figure at this point why bother trying.  It only causes stress in my life.  I should be a real looser and get welfare, food stamps, etc. and give up.  Just killing time til I die, right? Then I can bitch about “the man” and tell everyone the world is against me. 

I tried, I really did, but what am I supposed to do if I can’t get a job?  NO ONE WILL HIRE ME.

I don’t want to ADULT today.  Someone call Isabelle and tell her she can go on vacation permanently, the search is over I found my fate.  I am a welfare momma. 

At least I have healthcare and my prescriptions.  They will keep me warm and fuzzy.

Talk to you later...