So maybe it has been awhile…

So maybe it has been awhile…

I tend to shut down and keep to myself when busy or stressed.  The last year and a half was eventful to say the least.

I see some people have read some of my blog and that is interesting too, I though I was the only one who read this stuff.

I went through four jobs, yes four.

I was lied to , robbed, bullied, discovered illegal activity like embezzlement schemes, or  racism, and just bad behavior.  I am still in the mist of a discrimination suit with the last one.  Therefore, I decided I am better off on my own self employed.

I got back together with my baby’s daddy.  Haha!  I am now close to delivering my final child and baby girl.  The relationship is not what it was and nothing really I care about any more but I gave up on love years ago.  He is making a ton more money and provides a better life financially for my kids. 

I belong to a wonderful church I am pleased to be apart of and teach Sunday school at every week.

I am happier home with my kids and my oldest Son has moved back in realizing he needs his mother.

Lots of changes and improvements but that is what life is about….  Building a better one right?

I am also 20 credits away form completing my BS in Environmental Policy and already completed my AA in Paralegal Studies. 

Daily I run and exercise and try not to freak out while I am 8 months pregnant and 65lbs heavier.

Things are different and better, but the same. My younger sons father is still an ass, but sometimes in relationships you learn to accept what you cannot change and find something to distract you.  Like Running Marathons and volunteer work.

I know it is odd after everything he did to go back and try it again.  I really don’t look at it as trying again.  I look at it as doing what is best for my younger son and try and do what a women does… 

We are strong for our kids, period.

As least his family is not around anymore and I have my privacy back.

Today was a good day and my head is full of stories.  Tuesday’s are farmers market days for me.   I get to small and taste and enjoy.  Then home to manage everyone else’s life.

The dogs, kids, new house and world around me does not exists for  few hours while I explore the colors sounds and flavors of the fresh farmers market. 

I know it is crazy to think I am that into this shit!  Really??

But you know it’s the little things…

Like why my faith is back in humanity today.  I sometimes feel myself get negative and then out of nowhere some random stranger comes up to me and says can I tell you something?

I never use to listen and would just say NO and run but now I listen…

Today it was the security guard at the Bank.  He had to tell me about how blessed I was, how my child would be beautiful and wonderful and then handed me a little King James New Testament Bible and said “hold on to your faith it will not leave your side if you remember why it is there.”  Or something to that effect.

The words stuck with me and reminded me to not be angry with the world but back to peace and enjoyment of the little things at the Farmers Market.  Sometimes there are signs out there everywhere keeping us on track and we need to just stop saying NO and instead listen to the strange guy handing you a bible on the street randomly. 

But then again, it could be the hormones from the pregnancy..  LOL

Be well more to come this week!