MY Number One SON

Everyone keeps telling me to let it go to leave it alone, or except was has past and move on.

Tell me how do you let go of loosing a child, of loosing years for no reason that you will never get back. Maybe my son did’nt die but it is like he did. His father never loved him he left me pregnant and alone, beaten at times and just look what he wanted. So how did I end up loosing the only thing I ever loved.

Well I asked 10 attorneys 4 therapist and random court employees anyone. Not one of them can tell me other than his father is a bad man with money, power and I was a victim.

No one can tell me why no one can tell me what went wrong or that I did something wrong. They all just say sorry but now you have to except the situation. I have to except I don’t get to be there everyday, I don’t get to see my son grow up. I don’t get to pick him up form school, make him breakfast, do homework with him or hear about his day everyday. I get weekends and have to do what I am told. Why because someone made a mistake and no one works for free.

I just want to pick him up from school, take him to practice, anything more.

You think I would have the right to live without being harassed and yelled at, form being constantly verbally abused by his father. Nope! Welcome to the real world where money comes before the welfare of a child. Where power comes before right and wrong. Even what my son wants is not considered.

I still say I will never understand what really happened. The only thing I know is he who has the most money wins! If you are a parent or not I am sure you will understand the devastation I felt and feel everyday. My heart left my body that day and I died physically, emotionally in every way and did not want to live anymore.

I am tired of living this way with this knot inside me, just waiting for him to come home.


SON

Hey you, come along and hear me
Hey you, I never thought this would be happening
Something’s were never meant to be
Loosening you was one of those things
Hey you, don’t worry
There is something better waiting for you and me
Because I was given you so god must love me
I can’t say why some things are happening
Can’t tell you what to believe
But I was given you so god must love me
Hey you, wishes do come true
Hey you, dreams can speak to you
Angels say no one can take me from you
Because god gave me to you so he must be in love with you too.
Something inside me is breaking for you
Something inside me is changing for you
Hey you, don’t cry everything will be alright
Hey you, listen to me I will never leave
Something’s can’t be taken away so easily
Because I was given you so god must love me
I can’t say why some things are happening
Can’t tell you what to believe
But I was given you so god must love me