What’s the plan Isabelle

Dear Isabelle,

This last week I was alone with two kids and dogs while daddy went to Las Vegas for work.   Wow, thank goodness for my older son, because not only did the 4 year old assert his man hood and challenge me every step of the way, but…  The dog injured himself again. So along with multiple doctor appointments for baby girl and myself, job interviews for the 18 year old and everything else made it a overwhelming week. 

To say the least….

So I decided to stop breast-feeding and hate having to stop!!  I love the connection with the baby.   I just cant figure out how with all these appointments for neurology or physical therapy and size I cup breasts that can suffocate a small baby, how the heck to do it all.  I am mentally sinking and emotionally disconnecting. 

Hello Postpartum! Those who think it is not real come talk to me.

My Doctors are putting me on disability for six months and I will find out what direction the lawsuit with my employer will take in a week.  SO hold on tight girl, this is going to be a ride.  I need to find my happy place and get on train. But I think this time I will need a little help from a friend, so I made an appointment with a Psychologist/Psychiatrist for medication management.    I give in….

My positive energy needs to come back, I need to find it or need help til I can manage it myself again.  I think it is time to also start logging my fitness goals and making a plan.  Plans help!

So today I weigh 193, height  5FT 5Inch Diet 900-1200 cal per day and I have 45-50 pounds to loose to start with…   Mental state of mind, NOT motivated, depressed, and sad about my baby.  I don’t want to die but I physically cannot do the ideas in my head right now.

I have never been a skinny girl with double Ds just on the curvy side but I think since my health is more important than anything right now (mental and physical) I should start logging away.

What’s the plan Isabelle?