End and finding answers/ Current Day 2011

I have spent hour’s maybe days or months trying to figure out why my husband won’t listen to me or talk to me. Why he continues to treat me like a child and degrade me. Why he goes to therapist and everyone but me for the answer to how to fix things. The only thing I can come up with is he doesn’t see me for who I am and the person I am but as a sick child he has to control and take care of his way. He has such little faith in my abilities and lacks basic knowledge of who I am that he thinks I can’t possibly know what I need, want or that I even have the ability to know such things.

I am a 33-year-old women and I have made plenty of mistakes. I have had great jobs, sucky jobs, made close to six figures a year with lavish vacations and college funds for my son and investments in the stock market. I have lost so much and gained it all back. But there is nothing wrong with me. Maybe there never has been, maybe I just needed to struggle to find myself. But who hasn’t and some have more than others, that is what makes us all who we are. I am not like him I will never be and I did not have the simple life he did. But I have acceptance, honesty and the ability to never judge others. My compassion and understanding for those around me is my downfall and my greatness.

SO my marriage is over because my husband can’t treat me as an adult and the person I am. He can’t except maybe I am more than some label I have been given. And he will search for answers he will never find, because he can’t see me. He can’t trust that I have the answers and I know what I need.