So much is good and the rest is gone...

So it is done I guess, the judge granted a five year restraining order for my husband. He stood there in court and not only lied under oath, but was caught lying then continued to try and place blame on me.
Why do I feel so sad, I am crying a lot, grieving my losses? I really wanted a family, to be married, to have a home.
It just keeps getting worse even though things are better at home now it is worse in a way. My parents told my older son’s father what is going on, so now he is doing everything he can to hurt me with the information.
I didn’t want this, this life of a single mother and so much. I just thought I could be happy and deal with the abuse maybe it would change I thought for so long. But my husband will never change and he is gone, my life has changed for the better. SO why am I crying.
My good friend told me I am sad from the loss, I believe I did the right thing. I don’t want my children growing up with someone abusing me in front of them all the time. But now they are growing up without the consistency of having two parents in the home that love them. It is a horrible thing to have this situation forced upon my kids. I know I am sad for them.