Work and stuff... I am not a CEO but I could do your job and still wipe an ass or two

  

SO I have been working from home with these two clients they have startups and they only need a few hours here and there.  They only issue is my unemployment ran out and I have debt, bills, etc.  Yup when you don’t work you shop!

SO what do you do when you’re me and afraid of the general public and corporate America, you keep trying and try to find a way to make money?  However I am finding this to be more difficult then I thought it would be.  Apparently I am a bit strange and think differently than most people with a strange unrealistic amount of optimism that I can do anything.  Well maybe its because I have been through so much I just don’t fear anything anymore.

I like working with startups, and I like taking my pills (Adderall and Welbutrin still) and yet I fall asleep and feel zero motivation to try harder or do something more.  Is it depression or boredom.   I have no problem working weekends or around the clock, a long as I can pick my kids up from school and be home for dinner.  I am use to working all the time and stuff.  It is the way everything is these days.  Plus I hate having unopened email, or projects pending.  I like and must finish projects right away.  But dealing with real live people is not my thing.  People seem to like me, they seem nice, but really why would I want to spend time with people I have nothing in common with, and I don’t know, cant relate to?  I don’t want fame, I could care less if the boss likes me, I just want to do my job and go home, or to the gym.  I just want money to pay my bills and travel.    I have been told that my work product is excellent and I have an amazing turnaround time on projects, but…  But what is it, why cant I fit in, is it because I don’t care about your Facebook friends or your Twitter posts,  and why people follow the Kardashians anywhere, what makes them so brilliant about politics?  Seriously, I look at the world and the youth and think, “White Trash” , but maybe I am getting old and just don’t get it anymore. 

So what do I do now, the hope of actually ever leaving my own world of kids, shitty diapers and blogging has killed my soul, and sucked any passion I once had out.   I can only dream as I watch porn that maybe I can do that again one day?  Maybe running and working out will make the 20 something years olds notice me and carry me away to a better me a sexy me. The me I see in the mirror who is still savvy and funny.    But then I remember I hated my 20s, I loved my 30s and then complicated it all with kids and a relationship.  I truly believe the relationship has aged me more than the kids.   I once wanted to do something that mattered and then I woke up and realized we don’t change the world the world changes us.  

The skinny jeans, the overexposed youth who think it is perfectly fine to put pictures of yourself drinking at party every night on the web, the helicopter moms who think their 3 year old should have a say in his bed time and discuss the rules.  He is three and like the president I do not negotiate with terrorist,  think its classy or being famous on YouTube for drunken behavior is cool, and I don’t think celebrities should talk about serious issues effecting the nation.  They are paid to entertain us not lead our country, and over paid completely. 

I still believe that our teachers and mothers are underappreciated and that women like me are underestimated, undervalued and not given any credit for the fact my job is harder than any celebrity or CEO because I deal with your judgment.  The judgment that a mother has wasted her college education, given up on her full potential and cant do your job.  The one the CEO and VPs go to everyday to leave the dirty work to the mothers.  Yes, I said it,….  I could do your job and do it better than you, faster, and do it while I make lunch, wipe an ass, and discipline the 3 year old.   I don’t need a special office an assistant to schedule my lunch appointments, or someone to make copies for me.  I do it everyday, while I take meetings and keep my 1-yesrold in check, pick up my 5 year old from school make dinner, wash your panties, and tolerate you complaining about how you didn’t get your way at work.  I have zero sympathy for those who drop their kids off, go to work, actually ave time to shower and put on adult clothes.  Guess what when you catch me in my yoga pants un-showered and on the go, its because I just handled my shit and produced a full complete  book of written perfected spreadsheet, with polices procedure, and the emails out with instructions to all your employees of what to expect, and what the new rules are for, before you chocked down a third cup of coffee.   It we stop having meetings about your accomplishments and how great you are, maybe skip the talk about your ideas and not meet next Thursday about the meeting we just had, maybe you could try and do my job, with 20 something interruptions and calls while your holding a screaming child, with mute on so you can listen to the narcissist on the other line tell you how their boss didn’t make them happy today.  I produce more work in one day than a CEO puts out in a week.  Honest managing people is just about setting expectations, reminding the kids about the rules and making sure they don’t spend all day on twitter, following Kim Kardashian large ass.

I am sure some CEO or VP will read this and say she has no clue what I do all day, what does she know anyway she is just a stay at home mom with her little projects.   EXACTLY MOFO, welcome to my world.  Your just a CEO….

Don’t under estimate what people do and who they are, your judgment and the ones you judge may be your boss tomorrow.   But then again, what corporation would ever higher me with my college degrees and everything.  It would never work out, I am just a mom.