My husband is gone all the time with our other property remodel so I am looking for a good daycare for my baby two days per-week in order to actually breathe and get something done. Don’t get me wrong I love the little guy he is 13 months and perfect. I am just not capable of being with him everyday and night with out a break once in a while.
The teenager was over this weekend and we are growing farther apart someday. I know a big influence is his birth father right now. He is going through that phase where he needs to please his father. All boys go through it I here….
The issue is his father does not do what is best for him? I am confused and concerned. His father actually told him that he does not need to go to college, that there is no need for him to have a bank account or learn about “those things”. He explains to him why he does not need his mother. My son is so sensitive about anything I can’t talk to him about it without him thinking I am attacking his father somehow. It makes it uncomfortable for me to even talk to my own Teenager. But I guess that is what his father wanted so I will always keep trying. I just worry he is limiting his potential and will never wake up to what his father is doing. Then I worry about the pain he will feel when he realizes what his father is doing and that he does not have his best interest in mind. That feeling I know too well and I am not sure what will be worse.
My life is OK, I am trying to be sexual again this week with my husband who seems overly concern with my personal pleasure. I guess after I told him that he makes me NOT want to have sex anymore and I don’t enjoy sex anymore with him he is now trying harder. Sometimes in a marriage you get in a routine and it sucks or you just fantasize about younger people. I don’t know? I guess I have never really been attracted to men or women. I have experiences a few times that uncontrollable erg to fuck someone sideways or something like that. There were a couple guys and one girl in my past that just smelled fantastic! I know it’s strange but we are all animals. I was so horny in my mid 20s I think I am done with my sexual peek of anything. Or maybe I had too much sex in my youth everything is just redundant and boring now. I will admit I lost count on how many men or women a long time ago. It was not hundreds but maybe 100 at the most. I really used my sexuality to get what I wanted or hurt people. That I am not proud of so maybe my punishment is I don’t get to enjoy sex like I use to anymore.
Well back to reality back to the kids and moving forward in what life I have now.
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