Growing up is hard to do... But a pleasure with you!

My number one son turned 15 yesterday, how time does truly fly being a parent. It seems there is never enough time or moments in the day to truly enjoy it with him. The mother’s guilt kicks in every year when I sit long enough to think about what I have missed. Then I take a second look and remember all that I have done and smile. I can’t imagine a better life to have lived then the one I have been given with my son.
Has it been difficult? Yes everyday.
Has it been rewarding? More than it has been difficult.
He is one of the people in this world I truly unconditionally love and admire everyday with no effort. Being his mother has been my honor, privilege and joy.

He entered that magical age of teenager that age when he will hurt my feelings at least once a day. Make me feel unwanted and tell me it’s not fair at least 20 times a day. He is too busy and too cool for mommy anymore and just might forget I exist at times. BUT, I know my son and he knows me, and after all we went through the strong bond of mother and son remains. So by the end of the day I win a kiss, and quite I love you mom. Then off to bed to battle again another day.

I try and remind him I will never stop fighting to be in your life, never stop arguing to be heard, and never stop being completely obsessively in love with him. SO deal with it kid! I will stalk you if you make me.
Because it is not my job, it is my honor, and joy to be apart of the life you gave me.

WE have this thing we say to each other that has been said since he was a small boy.
I say “To the moon and back”
He Says “To the stars and beyond”
That is how much we love each other and always will….

I wrote this for my older son when he was little and they took him from me, it still in some ways is the way I feel when he is not with me.

Hey you, come along and hear me
Hey you, I never thought this would be happening
Something’s were never meant to be
Loosening you was one of those things
Hey you, don’t worry
There is something better waiting for you and me
Because I was given you so god must love me
I can’t say why some things are happening
Can’t tell you what to believe
But I was given you so god must love me
Hey you, wishes do come true
Hey you, dreams can speak to you
Angels say no one can take me from you
Because god gave me to you so he must be in love with you too.
Something inside me is breaking for you
Something inside me is changing for you
Hey you, don’t cry everything will be alright
Hey you, listen to me I will never leave
Something’s can’t be taken away so easily
Because I was given you so god must love me
I can’t say why some things are happening
Can’t tell you what to believe
But I was given you so god must love me



TO the Moon and Back!