It has been exhausting around here lately. My favorite cousin is in the hospital with a brain tumor. Good news is first biopsy came back cancer free. Bad news he has one more test and possibly another surgery to go still.
My baby is not sleeping; he has decided that he does not want to sleep anymore and fights going to bed.
My husbands Aunt called the doctor I went to see a couple weeks ago and I feel like my entire world is being made public information without my consent. Her actions only upset the situation more and made the doctor angry. It was very inappropriate. My husband is yelling all the time because he is scared of loosing me. He is forbidding me to do anything. Will not allow me money or freedom because he thinks it will keep me from having the ability to leave.
I don’t want to leave I want my life back. I want to provide for my kids and live a normal healthy life. Don’t we all?? He is only pushing me away more by trying to control everything.
The good news is my teenager and I had a wonderful evening alone. We talked about everything in his world. We went and saw a cute movie. We enjoyed being together without any distractions. I took my baby to my parent’s house for the night so we could both have time alone and get some sleep. I love that he can talk to me so openly and tell me what is going on in his world. It reassures me that I am truly important in his life and that I am being a good parent. He told me about his problems with his father and stepmother. She is pregnant again, she is intruding on his privacy and he hates that. I cannot fight his battles for him but at least I can sympathize or be a person he can confide in when needed. I love our relationship the moments like tonight when we laugh at the world together openly, and honestly.
I know things will fix themselves and all I can do is wait to see what is put before me tomorrow in order to make the best decision I can. My husband will either come home or deal with things or he won’t. My sons will always be close to me the joys of my life. I am good at being a mother. I am great at being honest. But I am exhausted from the drama, so I will wait for it to clear, get the rest I can tonight and look forward to tomorrow’s challenges, joys or surprises as they unfold.
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